Confessions of a Problem Seeker is a raw and unflinchingly honest memoir of one man’s midlife reckoning and search to find his soul. As a childhood shaped by trauma and illness gave way to an illusion of adult success and purpose—marriage, fatherhood, entrepreneurial achievement—the author finds himself grappling with the unshakable feeling that he has lived a life shaped more by fear and survival instincts than by inner truth. Triggered by divorce, professional loss, and a deep inner emptiness, his search for peace leads him to psychedelics and a spiritual awakening as he begins to heal old wounds, including the lingering shadows of his Holocaust-survivor parents. He offers a compassionate invitation for others—particularly those in the second half of life—to question who they really are beneath their busy identities and to reclaim the joy and stillness of an authentic, present life.
COMING: JANUARY 13, 2026
Praise
“Howard Steinberg provides an honest, moving and beautiful example of how someone dominated by protective parts resulting from trauma can transform and live a very different kind of life. His is an inspiration for how, through spiritual inquiry and awareness, we can befriend all of our inner parts and find profound healing. His journey is a testament to the power of self-compassion and love even after a lifetime of distraction and pain.”
—Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D., Founder of Internal Family Systems and author of No Bad Parts
“In Confessions of a Problem Seeker, Howard Steinberg delivers a gripping, radically raw life story of reinvention. It speaks to striving professionals who have mastered the game—only to wonder why they’re still running. Steinberg shows what it takes to confront fear, embrace change, and create something new in business and in life. A compelling read for anyone navigating an examined life.”
—Tom Rogers, Founder of CNBC and MSNBC, media industry leader, and digital media pioneer
“Confessions of a Problem Seeker is a profound and gritty human journey of reclamation. Howard Steinberg invites you in and makes you feel you are beside him every step of the way, witnessing the complexity of his humanity, laughing with him at his pain and connecting more deeply to our own journey. Reading it evokes that rare elation that only comes when another human is fully open. I would recommend this book to all of my clients, and indeed to anyone walking the sacred path to awaken the heart and find stillness in the present.”
—Jessica Flynn, Psychotherapist LMSW
“Howard Steinberg’s story affirms that healing is possible even when the old coping patterns run deep. As a physician, I was deeply moved by the power, vulnerability and insight in Steinberg’s story. I found myself laughing at his self-deprecating humor one moment, and wiping away tears the next. Confessions of a Problem Seeker goes far beyond the routine patient stories—it reveals the emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions of reaching beyond trauma to live an authentic life.”
—Mariela Glandt, M.D., Endocrinologist, Founder, Owna Health
“Confessions of a Problem Seeker is an honest and transformative memoir. Howard invites us along with him on a journey as he hits the wall at midlife and courageously dives deeper until he comes home to his awake heart. Howard’s honest writing style is a joy to read and I highly recommend this moving and deeply insightful book.”
—Loch Kelly, M.Div, LCSW, author of Shift Into Freedom
“Howard Steinberg writes like the funniest guy at the recovery meeting: open and wounded, ready to talk about his pain, yet somehow still optimistic and full of light. Steinberg’s voice is authentic, relatable, and deeply human. I highly recommend this book, a story of personal reinvention and hope.”
—Brian Loew, Founder, Inspire Health
“For those of us in the type 1 diabetes world, stories like Howard Steinberg’s are invaluable. His memoir gives voice to the subtle challenges of the daily realities of this condition—raw, candid, and deeply personal. Confessions of a Problem Seeker is more than a book; it’s a gift to the type 1 diabetes community and a reminder that no one walks this journey alone.”
—Aaron J. Kowalski, Ph.D. Chief Executive Officer, Breakthrough T1D (Formerly JDRF)
“Confessions of a Problem Seeker is a courageous and luminous memoir. With raw and radical honesty and surprising humor, Steinberg shows the path through trauma can open into freedom of the heart. This book is both deeply personal and universally relevant—a gift for anyone who longs to live with authenticity and self-compassion.”
—Kathleen Stansberry, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Elon University
Excerpts
Confessions of a Problem Seeker is a deeply personal account that explores several critical themes. Below are brief excerpts and reflections from the memoir.
- On Generational Trauma (Holocaust): As a child, I didn’t connect the actual horrors of the Holocaust my parents endured to our lives in New York. But the trauma and pain was there; it was just unspoken. The atmosphere was dark, but I had an awareness of love. Or, more accurately, care for my survival. Their fears and grim view of the world were understandable but not helpful in developing a secure psyche. Life was not to be enjoyed but survived. Joy was not to be trusted. […]. I carried an unconscious desire to ease my detached mother’s traumatic pain and make my brave father proud, which stunted my ability to form a secure identity.
- On Spiritual Growth (Psychedelics): This was not how I planned it. At a time in life when I should be doting on grandchildren, traveling the world with my beloved, sitting on boards and sunny beaches, I instead find myself sitting in an ayahuasca ceremony in Puerto Rico in search of my true self wondering just what the hell happened to me and who I truly am. […] And just like that, my mind ceased its usual dominating control as a wave of serenity washed over me in an amazing sense of presence and peace I had never experienced before. […] That fleeting taste of presence, that ephemeral connection to my inner authentic self, was a revelation, reminiscent of early childhood. […] My awareness of something bigger in me and around me continued to grow as I shed my old identity into a more aware and awake version…
- On Chronic Illness (Type 1 Diabetes): Back then, the word diabetes was only familiar to me from public service ads on TV trying to generate donations, somberly highlighting the ugly consequences of the condition: heart and kidney disease, blindness, amputation, and early death. Unfortunately, well-intentioned parents and even healthcare professionals unwittingly reinforced that message as a strategy to motivate my compliance: “This does not have to happen to you if you take care of yourself.” Yeah, but you may be missing the part of the message that it COULD happen. Should I unremember that? Over fifty years ago, complications from Type 1 diabetes were almost inevitable, and somehow that was conveyed to me. What does a ten- going on eleven-year-old kid do with those ever-looming dark possibilities?
- On the Entrepreneurial Mind (ADD/ADHD): Attention deficit disorder was not a common affliction back then. I suppose if it were, I would have been suspect 1A and been hauled off to the nearest clinical child psychologist before you could say, “Dumb, lazy embarrassment.” It wasn’t until my mid-forties that a psychiatrist confidently diagnosed ADD. “You check almost every box!” he marveled. It sure helped to explain a lot. My low self-esteem. My feeling as an imposter. Friends with the smart kids, struggle to finish tasks, assignments, or organized activities. Careless mistakes. Missing important details in class or instructions. Taking refuge in humor. […] The chaos of running a business actually calmed my mind. It was like all the different channels in my brain finally had a place to go. The constant problem-solving, the fast-paced environment, the need to adapt and improvise – it was the perfect outlet for my restless energy.
- On Professional Life (Entrepreneurship): It’s clear now that entrepreneurship was inevitable and, ironically, served my need for control and optionality. Not only could I eat what I killed and keep the rewards from my efforts, but I could literally eat when I wanted. As an anxious diabetic, constantly and secretly trying to safely regulate blood sugars, having control of my day, meals, and agenda brought a perceived sense of relief. […] I was twenty-eight and started Source Marketing with five thousand dollars in the bank, no debt, no investors, no mentors, nor advisors, and a small project from the fine folks at Pepsi. I, and those like me, didn’t call ourselves entrepreneurs back then. We just did it. […] Marketing services was a low cost of entry business but highly dependent on talent, hustle, and tolerance for humiliation. Two out of three ain’t bad, but I was learning the art of taking shit from clients.